• Mars

and we're back.

Two years ago, I started a blog. There weren’t big plans in my mind for where it would take me but within a few short months my life had changed forever. And a few short months after that, a global pandemic swooped in and stole 2020 right out from under me (and the rest of the world).

When I started writing, I didn’t have a real focus or goal - I just knew I wanted to write about mental health and my own personal struggles with it. There was definitely a yearning for connection, to find others out there like me. The mental health community welcomed me with open arms, and I began consuming any and all materials I could find regarding mental health recovery. While doing this, I began having some life-changing realizations. Right then, blogging and advocacy could no longer be a priority in my life - my life itself needed to be.

I had realized that the life I was living did not serve me well. I was not happy, had not been happy for a very long time, and there was no one to blame but myself. I had become stagnant and bitter, lazy and unmotivated. I blamed others for my emotions and refused to take responsibility for my own shortcomings.

However, I wasn’t the only problem.

Issues that had been swept under the rug for years were suddenly glaringly obvious. Little annoyances became deal-breakers. Problems in my relationship that I had overlooked from the very beginning were now suddenly staring me in the face. The true reality of the life I had built with this person became clear, and I saw the future of our relationship. I saw the life I was living and the life I would have, and I wanted no part of it anymore.

I did what I always do.

I ran.

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